Introducing a new feature: Ask “The Goose”

If you’ve read my blog for awhile, you know about The Goose. She’s the 11 year old Great Dane I abandon for a few hours every time I play golf. Her name is actually Kess, but she’s more often called by her nickname, The Goose.

She’s never been one for chasing balls and so doesn’t quite see the appeal of doing it for 18 holes, but she understands my addiction nonetheless. Since she has retired from her security job, she has been restless and wants to contribute to this blog to give her something to do. I’m all for it if it will keep her out of the trash.

She’s so bored!

I thought the best way for her to contribute was to use her uncanny wisdom in a feature I’m calling “Ask the Goose.” Readers can send in their questions to her via e-mail using the link on the sidebar and if she answers them, I’ll post them here.

Before I introduced this feature, I wanted to test it myself to see if her response would be a good fit for this site. I think it is, and I’ll share the example here now:

Dear Goose,

What is the best way to practice my short game?

Love, Mom

Dear “Mom,”

I love the short game because it involves chips, and I love chips. It’s good that you understand this is the most important part of your game, and to make sure you practice it, you should make it fun. Playing is good.

Take some friends if you can and make a game out of your practice. Even wager on it if you want. With your bump and runs and your flop shots, choose a target and mark it. I recommend using something other than pee because it doesn’t always show up and it can be messy. Then play “GOOSE” (HORSE is so tired) with your friends.

You chip the ball until you hit your spot exactly, counting the number of strokes it took to hit it. When I say hit your spot, I don’t mean roll the ball there, I mean on the fly. Then your friends take turns at it counting their strokes. The person who takes the fewest strokes to hit it gets a “G” and gets to pick the next spot and start again. Whoever spells GOOSE first, wins! See, with HORSE, you’re eliminated when you spell it. With GOOSE, you win when you spell it! It keeps people from being eliminated so everyone gets their practice.

Now feed me.
Love,
The Goose

Sounds great – I think I’m going to try it!

I’m a little concerned that her responses might not all be this useful, but I guess we’ll see.

If you have a question for The Goose, you can e-mail it to her at askthegoose@thegolfchick.com or use the link in the sidebar. Update: Since the Goose’s passing, she still manages to check her email from time to time. She doesn’t answer all questions, but it’s worth a shot because she seems to be wiser than ever now.

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