The Golfchick

That chick blabbing about anything golf related.

Tag: slow play

Say No to Five Hour Rounds!

August 30, 2015 / / 4 Comments

I can’t understand why everyone doesn’t play golf, but even more than that I don’t understand why some people that do play have no idea how to navigate a golf course. I don’t like five hour rounds. Correction – I hate five hour rounds. I’ve never heard anyone say “That round was way too fast. We need to slow down next time.”

All too often while waiting on the tee I see two carts sitting side by side up ahead. Three of the guys are sitting in the carts, one is on his phone, and one is telling the other guy about the birdie he made on this hole in ‘96 or ‘97. The 4th guy is standing next to his drive doing his best Tiger Woods grass toss, trying to figure out how this 2mph wind is going to affect his upcoming bladed 5 iron. Having decided it’s a two club, wind he pulls the 7. Now the fun begins: practice swing, practice swing, practice swing… no, wait. He’s only 210 out, 2mph downwind. It’s got to be the 8 – he saw Bubba hit this exact shot last week. The fact that he just ripped his driver 190 never enters his mind. Four more practice swings, this time with the 8, then pures it 70 yards. Still not out of our landing area, but on to player #2 where the show begins again then again and one more time. Unless the 2 players in one of the carts are women. Most women hit it then hit it again until they get to the green where they are lining up their putts while watching their husbands toss grass in the air.

Golf is hard, playing golf doesn’t have to be. Golf is a game where you police yourself and call penalties on yourself. Only you can speed up play – unless you are scared of those 90 year old volunteer rangers that most courses use now.

Here are a few easy things that everyone can do to make golf more enjoyable for everybody.

1. Play the right tees. Most scorecards have recommended tees based on handicaps. A better way may be to look at the holes on the card. You should be able to comfortably hit a 6 iron or less to most of the par 3’s and 4’s.

2. Practice on the range, play golf on the course. The only time I take practice swings on the course is when I’m trying to stay loose because I’m waiting, I have a difficult stance or lie, on chips to get a feel for the lie, or if I’m trying to hit a big draw or fade. Three or four practice swings on every shot just wastes time and wears you out.

3. If you’re the longer hitter in your cart, walk to your ball and get ready to hit while your partner is getting ready. Take a couple clubs with you; twenty seconds after your partner hits you should be pulling the trigger. Even if you grabbed the wrong clubs he can drive over and you’re ready to go.

4. Unless you’re playing in a tournament, play ready golf. Common decency tells you an eagle or birdie has honors, but any other time, hit at will. Same goes for around the green. If you have a 50+ foot putt and no one has made it to the flag to tend it, putt it if you’re ready. Chances are it’s not going in. If it does and you’re playing a friendly round, nobody’s going to make you take that penalty.

5. Be aware of your surroundings. Park the cart on the path at the back of the green. If you brought a club with you to chip, lay it at the back of the green after your chip so you can pick it up on your walk back to the cart. Start lining up your putt and fixing ball marks while others are putting as long as you can stay out of their line.

6. Write the scores down on the way to the next tee. No eagles or birdies? Grab your club and swing away.

*This post is a section taken from my “bio page” which is here.

Editor’s note: I had a discussion with some people on twitter yesterday after a 5+ hour round. Here are some ideas we threw around:

Golf courses – offer green fee discounts to people who play in less than 4 hours. Perhaps in rebate form, or in discount on their next round.

Public/private courses with members who don’t pay green fees? Maybe a discount on monthly minimums. Or, how about a rewards program/points card. Every time they play in less than four hours they get points towards money to spend in the pro shop.

Any course – Use your marshals to move people along! Also, implement a “wall of shame,” on which you display photos of players who take more than 5 hours a round.

But, since golf courses are like highways and one slow group causes a traffic jam, only penalize the first group that fell behind. This one’s tricky because you’d need a marshal out there to identify the offenders. And if he’s out there and didn’t speed them up – he’s the one who should be penalized! Offer a drink or something to the groups whose rounds were miserable behind them.

Other ideas? Please share in the comments! :) – Kristen @thegolfchick

 

Tee It While We’re Young

July 6, 2013 / / 24 Comments

One of the biggest issues currently in the game, anyone from the casual golfer to the touring pro will agree, is slow play. In the last couple years, the golfs various governing bodies have devised their own attempts at resolving the slow play issue. The PGA of America came up with “Tee It Forward”, the USGA with “While We’re Young”, and the PGATOUR with “Its Not Our Fault”. I recently had the ‘opportunity’ to play golf with a coworker (lets call him Jim) who, in a good month plays once, and if he kept accurate score would shoot 120 under the best of circumstances. This experience made me acutely aware of one thing…. The average golfer has no clue what they are doing.

Let me explain why I, as of this round, am completely against all “initiatives” taken by golf’s governing bodies.

1 – I can count on one hand how often Jim, in all of his 116* shots that day, actually saw where his ball finished. He could have teed off from the 150 markers, and the only way that would have sped up the round was the fact we have 4 fewer shots per hole to look for. I cannot imagine how long that round would have taken had it been him and 3 similarly skilled golfers in the same group. I was raised on a golf course, and the ability to watch and find golf balls was instilled in me at a very young age. Had I not been there, he’d have either lost close to 30 balls that day, or he’d STILL be playing that round, 4 days later.

2 – The inability for Jim to understand efficiency around the course, especially the greens, astounded me. Without getting too wordy, let me give the most ridiculous example of an event when I considered a sand wedge to my forehead may be a better option than golf with Jim. 5th hole, Jim had chipped onto the green, about 60 feet from the hole (after subsequent 5 minute ball searches in the right rough). Jim brought his wedge and putter, like any golfer should do. After putting his 60 footer about 20 feet short, Jim walked up to his ball (it was still his turn), marked it, and promptly walked back to his wedge, which was sitting 40 feet away on the green between himself and the cart, retrieved it, and took it back with him to his mark that was comfortably resting 20 feet from the hole. WTF?!?! THE WEDGE WOULD HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ON YOUR RETURN TO THE CART!!!

3 – At least once per hole after a poor shot, Jim would magically pull a ball from his pocket, drop it from where the previous ball was played, and make another horrific attempt at a golf shots (after yet another excessively long and unnecessary pre-shot routine).

4 – For someone who was very liberal with not counting tops, whiffs, chunks, etc… the time spent over 2 foot putts was absolutely ridiculous.

5 – This next point has virtually nothing to do with slow play, but it confuses me to no end, and no matter how many ways I asked the question, I could never get an answer. Jim was driving the cart, and when he pulled up to the green, every time, he’d pull the cart off the path completely before he stopped. Why?!? Parking a cart on concrete doesn’t kill grass. Parking a cart on grass does. Forget the agronomy of the parking issue, I don’t expect most people to understand that…when I park my car I don’t look for the nearest grassy area, I leave it on the concrete, which was obviously designed for the parking of my car. The same goes with the cart!!

Conclusion:

At no point did Jim consider himself to be a slow golfer, and when asked “hypothetically” about ways he could speed his round up, he could make no recommendations. Nor had Jim ever heard of the “Tee It Forward” or “While We’re Young” campaigns. This round of golf, and my discussions with him, made me realize one very important thing….

The average golfer has no interaction with golf other than their 5 hour, once per month rounds. The USGA and PGA can have all the initiatives they want, but promoting them solely on golf broadcasts or in golf publications only reaches the people who already know they are slow and who want to improve. The average golfer doesn’t watch golf telecasts, doesn’t watch The Golf Channel, doesn’t subscribe to golf periodicals, they smuggle a 6pack of beer onto their local muni once a month and smack a ball around in a game that loosely resembles golf.

Do I have an answer to this dilemma? Maybe. Does it involve anything less than physical torture and removal from golf courses? Potentially. I haven’t thought through it enough to post my solutions…however, I would love to hear your ideas and solutions as it relates to the slow play problem. Is there a solution? What do you think?

The slow player, the oblivious, the under-achiever, and the parent.

September 16, 2012 / / 6 Comments

Lots of things annoy me, I’m just that way.  I’m not sure if its because I think my way is better, or because I think your way is worse.  In fact, everyone annoys me.  Well, not you, but everyone else.  Maybe I shouldn’t say lots of things annoy me, maybe a better way to say it is EVERYTHING annoys me.  Every day, all day, I’m annoyed.  Like many, I spend some hours every day in an office.  Don’t get me started on everything that annoys me in there.  But, like a lot of people, I use the golf course to get away from the world.  Notice I didn’t say relax, because some days, and we all have them, golf just doesn’t seem relaxing.  Sure, every swing, every shot, every hole is an escape from life and without that escape, who knows where I’d be today.  But, when I’m on a golf course, I expect that the idiots that invade my life on a daily basis outside of golf won’t interfere with my life inside of golf.

All too often, I am dead wrong.

The slow player, the oblivious, the under-achiever, and worst of all – the parent.  

The Slow Player:

Most slow players don’t know they’re slow players.  Some do, and they pretend that they are trying to get faster.  Some do, and they frankly don’t give two shits about your opinion, because they’re good enough they think they’re allowed to be slow.  That accounts for about 20% of this annoying category.  Divide the remaining players up, and you’re left with a variety of individuals.  There’s the “I’m really good if I take my time and really focus on this shot, just not on that last shot, because I didn’t take enough time” guy.  85 shots later, he’s still not as good as he thinks he is.  Maybe after that 30 second pre-shot routine, you should have stood over the ball completely motionless for 60 seconds, instead of 45.  Those extra 15 seconds would have made all the difference.  Or, maybe you should have backed off the shot when you thought of all the bad shit that could result from your terrible pass at that poor little ball.  That ball did nothing to deserve being hit like shit, repeatedly, into places Paul Bunyan, Jacques Cousteau, Sir Edmond Hillary, or even that drunk college buddy you used to have would ever consider going into.  Please, for the love of all things holy, explain just what the hell you’re thinking about while you’re standing over the ball.  Does your heart  stop?  Do you stop breathing?  How in the hell can you remain motionless, in your “athletic address position” for so long without falling over?  Don’t your muscles tense up?  Doesn’t your brain stop working?  As my buddy says “What the hell are you worried about?  Just hit the damned ball, its gotta go somewhere!”  Well, I’ve seen you hit the shots, yes, I can confirm your brain stops working.  How do I know this?  Because, when you get to the green, you walk 20 yards from the cart to your ball that’s 10 feet off the green (after 4 shots), chip it onto the green, then walk all the way back to the cart to get your putter, then walk back to the green so you can promptly 3-putt (that last one was good) your way to a solid opening hole 8.  Play smarter, not harder.

The Oblivious:

Guess what, the later in the day it gets, the longer your shadow is.  Guess what else?  Get that shadow the hell out of my line.  Maybe it doesn’t bother you, but it bothers me.  If I wanted to deal with shadows, I’d hit my shots into the trees like you do.  Stepping in my line again?  I can forgive that once, because I understand reading a green is a foreign concept to you.  Rumor has it, that the slope of a green can affect the direction a ball rolls on the green, so, contrary to every putt you’ve ever hit in your life, they’re not all straight.  Stay the hell out of my line.  If you’re not sure, ask.  I won’t get mad, in fact, I’ll be happy you’re trying.  And after you figure out what my line is, how about using a coin to mark your ball.  Not a tee, not the little button from your golf glove (that you wear while putting), not a fucking poker chip, a coin.  You won’t lose it.  Unless it’s the size and texture of a blade of grass (most countries use some type of metal for coins), you’re not going to lose it.  With that covered, when I ask you to move your mark, don’t toss your entire putter on the ground and move your mark 3 feet the other direction.  Try the head of your putter, use an object in the distance as a reference point, and move it 3 inches one direction.  I’ll remind you to move it back, I promise.  And while I’m putting, feel free to answer that phone call, drop your putter, talk, sneeze, cough, laugh, or anything else you want to do because really, you’re the only one on the golf course, specifically that hole, so do as you please.  It’s your world, I’m just living in it.  Hey, don’t forget to move that mark back.

The Under-Achiever:

Go ahead, throw that club.  It’s the clubs fault, you did nothing wrong.  Your flawless golf swing and impeccable ball striking ability was hampered by that 6 iron getting in the way.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!  HOW DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!?!  I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!!!  Sure.  I bet.  You’re not good, you’re not just having a bad day,  just stop.  I can tell by watching you swing the club, you’re not fooling me.  Ty Webb, of Caddyshack fame, said it best – “You’re not, you’re not good Al.  You stink.”  If you think you’re good enough to get mad about being bad, you should be playing for money.  Not a $5 nassau using your 12 handicap strokes, money that you use to pay your damned bills with.  You hit 1 reasonably good shot out of the 110 you had that day, you’re really gonna be surprised when 109 of those shots don’t get hit how you had drawn up in your head?  Get over it.  You complaining, explaining what you were TRYING to do with that shot, and being angry it didn’t come off as you wanted isn’t going to impress me.  In fact, it’s going to make me consider driving the cart into the nearest pond, after I tie your leg to the floorboard, of course.

The Parent:

I’m all for parents getting involved in their kids lives, especially on a golf course.  Golf is first and foremost a game, meant to be played and enjoyed by people of all ages.  Go walk a few holes with your kid, carry some kid clubs in your bag, let him or her swing at the ball till they’re tired of it.  Laugh with them, encourage them, let them know you’re proud of them.  It was fun when we were kids, why not create new and great memories with your child on the golf course.  I’ve spent years teaching groups of grade school kids the game of golf.  The most important part, I’ve found, is encouraging them when they make good contact with the ball, and their eyes light up when they realize what they’ve just done.  Most kids don’t swear, but the reaction I see is “holy shit, what the hell, I just bashed the living shit out of that ball!!”  I don’t see a lot of parent/child interaction on the golf course, but I see way too much of it on the driving range.  I recently was at the tail end of a lengthy practice session, about an hour before dark, when a dad and son walked up to the range to his some balls.  The kid wasn’t very old, couldn’t have been more than 7 years old.  “Great,” I thought to myself, “The dad is gonna let the kid hit some balls into the setting sun, just to see them fly.”  Wow, was I wrong.  For an hour, the father berated that child for not hitting perfect shot after perfect shot.  Shots that I considered well struck for a 7-year-old weren’t anywhere close to good enough for the father.  The last place that kid wanted to be, as it got very close to dark, was on that driving range being told the things he needed to do better.  Pushing your kid to be good at golf isn’t going to negate that fact that you never lived up to your perceived potential.  At the end of the day, for everyone but that kid that night, it’s still a game.

What’s the point of this rant?  Well, nothing really.  The game of golf I’m obsessed with, the game that consumes my life, the game that is my escape from the world, is increasingly invaded by morons.  I’m not saying I’m perfect, because everyone knows that can never be true.  I have my quirks and annoying habits, and those most likely aren’t going anywhere.  I like to think that those idiosyncrasies don’t show up on the golf course, and if they do, I keep them to myself.  But, chances are, I annoy you, and I’m adult enough to admit it.  After all, it’s your world, and I’m just living in it.  Take notes, someday perhaps you can use me for inspiration for an angry golf blog post.

*Editor’s note: Wow, Levi, didn’t take you long to use your new outlet for an indulgent rant. You truly are a blogger now. :)

Next post.

MENU

© 2024 The Golfchick

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑