The Golfchick

That chick blabbing about anything golf related.

Category: Rants And Random Ramblings (page 8 of 8)

Golf courses in Michigan?

I might have time to play a round when I’m in Grand Rapids, MI the week after next. If anyone has a course to recommend or one they’d like to see mentioned and somewhat reviewed here, let me know!

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Tiger Woods, Like Buttah

Butter Putter

 

If you were a butter sculptor and you had already done a barn and a cow, what would your next piece be? The obvious answer is Tiger Woods. If you don’t see the natural progression, you must not be a real butter sculptor.

What’s that under the bench? Did the butter go to Tiger’s

head and cause him to not only eat a Big Mac, but litter, too?

This week I found myself in Des Moines, Iowa, where I was fortunate to find the Iowa State Fair poised to open its ten day run. The fair actually started the day I left, but the night before there was a free preview to anyone wanting to roam the fairgrounds.

A lot of the features and shows were open and running as well as restaurants and assorted deep fried foods-on-sticks stands. Some of the rides were even running. Most of the animals were there, though “Champions Row” was empty so I didn’t get to see the prize hogs which are reportedly a sight to behold. However, I did see a lot of cattle, swine and other animals I’ve never been so close to before. It was kind of thrilling.


Here is Scooter, the flirting Ostrich. He was into me. I could tell by the
way he kept
batting those long eyelashes and leaning in for the photos.

Whatever you do, don’t forget to make your way into the Agriculture building. That’s where you will find the amazing butter sculptures.

I looked up the artist on the internet so I could give her credit since I’m putting her artwork on my site without permission. Her name is Norma “Duffy” Lyon and here is her website. It lists a few of her other subjects and has a picture of another of her sculptures – The Last Supper!

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This isn’t Augusta, it’s a dive bar.

The Old Boys’ Club — and I do mean old.

Last fall I tried to join an all men’s club in town because I knew a lot of the guys in it and thought it would be fun to play with them. That’s all. Since all the young guys were cool with the idea, I figured it was probably just an all men’s club by default because they never thought to change it over the years. I wasn’t out to buck tradition; that would have just been a happy by-product. However, the old farts who voted on things like that were just too obstinate (backward?) or misogynistic (gay?) or threatened (pusillanimous?) to embrace the change and allow me in. Can you tell I’m bitter? They welcomed me and my money at the bar — yes, it’s a bar club and a beer and wine only bar at that — and said I could join as an associate member. Oh, they were so forward-thinking they had already allowed a woman as an associate member! So I could pay to join, and play when there was an opening due to a cancellation, I just wasn’t eligible to really compete or win anything. Thanks but no thanks.

They misled me for awhile and said they were going to change their bylaws and welcome me as a full member. The accepted my application and my check, we agreed that I would have to play from the white tees with everyone else and it was supposed to be a done deal. Of course, this was at the same time they were in the process of transitioning to a new handicap chairman who just happened to be my boyfriend, Greg. Once that was in place, they held a meeting and the old farts decided against letting me in. They said a lot of people voted to let me in, but that it had to be unanimous to change the bylaws. So sorry, buh-bye.

When I first started talking to them about joining it was also so I could get an SCGA number and start establishing a handicap. I was less than two months into my golfing experience but already hopelessly addicted and eager to become “official.” During the time I was being bamboozled, Greg processed my application and posted all my scorecards with my shiny new SCGA number. Since then, I joined another club and transferred that number over. Of course, I’m still privy to all their tournament results since Greg gets the sheets for posting. For a club that takes itself so seriously (who do they think they are, Augusta?) what a bunch of beer drinking hackers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! In fact it’s partly why I wanted to play with them, or at least the younger generation that wanted me to join. They’re all about having fun, but, like me, also want to play well and improve their games. However, based on the results I’ve seen, I would probably have consistently won in my flight, already advanced a level and be competitive in that flight as well. Maybe that’s what scared them.

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The Golf Shield

Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons! (Vizzini, 1987)

I believe this is a world of jackasses and morons but generally we don’t notice it amongst our own inner circles because we have other things in common that bind us. That doesn’t mean we’re not lame in our own ways that others would find unacceptable. Something about golf must hide those aspects long enough to get through a round. This “golf shield” occasionally leads me to believe that golfers are better people than non-golfers. This could be true but there are so many golfers in the world that if it were, that would blow my original theory that people suck. I can’t easily accept that. Maybe golf, even with all its frustrating aspects, will actually make me a more positive person. I know it’s changing me in other ways.

For example, I’m somewhat disorganized. Some would say (and have said) that’s a severe understatement and that I’m downright scatterbrained. Competition, however, has always seemed to bring out my ability to focus. It never seems like a conscious effort, but the results show a level of concentration I don’t have when I’m just playing for fun. This was true when I used to play competitive softball, and it seems to be true when I play in golf tournaments these days. I’ve only played in a few, so that remains to be seen, I guess. However, I recently had occasion to summon my game face at work and was able to concentrate at will when I otherwise might have fallen apart. Without the recent influence of golf and the focus I apply during play even in non-competitive rounds, the outcome could have been disastrous. Then again, overall I guess I’m still a scatterbrain… look how off topic I got. Back to the original topic of the nature of people…

I would venture to say that about 90% of the people I’ve been matched up with at the discretion of the starter have actually been really great people, at least for as long as it takes to play 18 holes. As for the other 10%, maybe they were just having bad days. I know I have been less than pleasant to be around on more than one occasion on the golf course — mostly when I let my hacker status upset me and compare myself to better golfers. My point is, either golfers are better people, or golf brings out the best in people most of the time, or I’m just wrong about people in general and they are actually great anyway at least 90% of the time. However, there always seem to be morons somewhere nearby on the course creating a ruckus or otherwise disregarding golf course etiquette in their shirtless glory (depending on the course), so maybe the golf shield is more like a cone of silence and only applies within each group. It creates a temporary inner circle and makes us immediately forgiving to one another as if we were lifelong friends. What is it “they” say… something like “there’s a [insert choice of descriptions here — e.g., moron, crazy person] in every group or family. If you don’t know who it is, that person is you.” I’ve long suspected it was me, but I’ll continue to point the finger elsewhere to help get me through… at least until golf helps me grow out of it.

Clearly I still have some focus issues … I got distracted from my original point again. I’ve spoken mostly about the 10% and even titled this article “The Golf Shield,” but the heart of the idea is Reason #3: The great people!

Reason #2: The scenery
Reason #1: The brotherhood

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You Might Already Be a Winner: A book report.

I have a new instructor and I’m so excited! Perhaps you’ve heard of him or maybe you have even “taken lessons” from him yourself. It’s Ben Hogan!

My colleague and friend, Bill, recently gave me a copy of Ben Hogan’s “Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf” to me, which had been given to him from his father back in 1965. Thank you, thank you thank you, Bill!

I had Jury Duty on Friday, and I read the book cover to cover that morning while waiting to be called in. It’s got me all fired up. Again. It’s more than just instruction, it’s downright inspirational. He actually has me convinced that I can shoot in the 70s, and relatively soon, if I just follow these basic lessons. It’s also teasing me about how much more I’ll actually enjoy and appreciate the game once I play it better. I kind of already assumed that (duh) but now I know more specifically why and look forward to focusing more on strategy than swing once I get there.

The lessons themselves are precise and simple to follow. The way he explains the REASONS for everything is so helpful to me. Instead of just telling what to do, he tells exactly how to do it, and why it’s important. I plan to go to the range as much as possible and use these lessons. I took some notes on the points that really stood out to me or that I knew I struggled with what he said not to do or that were just especially interesting. I will also be re-reading it from time to time and refreshing myself in certain areas. I’m going to expand on the notes I took below, one lesson at a time. It’ll be a relatively long post, but worth the read, I hope!


The Grip:

I think my grip is pretty right on since my runaway instructor already fixed it. I guess he knew what he was doing on that angle. I will double check it against my new bible, though. His explanation of why this grip works makes so much sense about how the two hands work together. Essentially, the grip neutralizes the more powerful right hand and helps it work in conjunction with the left instead of taking over and causing all kinds of problems in the swing. I’ve had so many golfers tell me it’s all about where the V’s in your hands point, and now I know that’s not true. Not even if they would have been correct about the positioning of the V’s in the first place. There’s just so much more to it than that. I also learned a couple interesting tidbits, one that most golfers probably already know: a warm ball flies further than a cold one, and one that people might not have heard or remember from the book: drinking ginger-ale reduces puffiness in hands due to its effects on the kidney.

Posture and Stance:

I was under the impression that my toes should be perpendicular to my target line if I desire the ball to travel straight to it. I thought opening and closing your stance to adjust the ball flight included position of the left toe. According to my new instructor, this is incorrect. My normal stance should have my right toe pointed straight in front of me (perpendicular to the target line) or even slightly turned in toward the target. My left toe should be turned ¼ turn of 90° toward the target, or about 22°. The way I understand it, this is purely in order that my knees will break in the proper direction to get the most power out of my swing. It’s also just one thing in “the chain” of the swing that all comes together to make a repeatable, reliable performance. The book doesn’t go into controlling ball flight and adjusting shots, so I assume what little I know about opening and closing my stance by repositioning the angle of my legs (not feet) in relation to the target line remains the same.

First Part of the Swing:

He talks a lot about the plane of the swing which I hadn’t read anything about until now. I had heard people mention it but I never really knew the significance or understood where that plane should be. The illustrations in the book are immensely helpful. The image of the head protruding through the glass pane which rests on the shoulders and angles down to the ground was especially enlightening. I will be working on these exercises plenty while I try not to shatter that imaginary glass!

At the peak of the backswing, my shoulders should be perpendicular to the target with my back facing it completely. The club head should be pointing right at the target and my belt buckle (were I wearing one) should be pointed at my right toe. He emphasized the importance of not rotating the hips beyond that area in order to achieve the right torsion to increase the power of the swing after the brief pause at the top. So cool!

Second Part of the Swing:

1. Think hips, hips, hips! The hips begin the downswing. I didn’t know the mechanics or steps of this maneuver. I think I assumed the forward swing should travel approximately the same path as the backswing in order to be repeatable and controllable. I probably got it right accidentally some of the time and it produced my best shots and I didn’t know why. I predict working on this the most at the range. Since I read the book on Friday I’ve not had the chance to go to the range but I played a round on Saturday and mistakenly tried to implement this into my game without practice. It just sounds so tantalizingly easy with the most dramatic improvements I had to do it. This is why we test things at the range first. I shot a horrible round, for which I have many excuses in addition to this.

2. The downswing should not retrace the upswing! When your hips start the swing, that motion pulls the shoulders and changes the plane so that you’re swinging inside out. If you always start with the hips and have this repeatable swing, you’ll never be correcting that outside-in swing at the last minute in other ways and getting unpredictable results.

3. The left wrist should be supinating at impact. Put another way, the left wrist is essentially the first part that crosses the line of the ball with your palm facing the sky on your right. Pronating (your palm is facing down) is the cause of many errors — hitting behind the ball and the dreaded skull, but also it causes a change in the arc of the entire swing which of course effects the hit more fundamentally. You have a steeper pitch of the upswing which can cause all kinds of errors in flight, but even if you hit it clean it won’t have the power and predictability it should.

Summary:

I highly recommend this book to all golfers who want to improve their game. For people just starting to play, I recommend you experience the game a little before reading it so that the references will make more sense. I wish I would have read it for the first time about 2 or 3 months after I started. I think it would have helped me improve faster than I have so far. Before that, I probably wouldn’t have understood some of it. For seasoned golfers, even if you’ve already read it, I recommend checking it out again. It’s not like it takes long to read 127 illustrated pages. Or just read a lesson at a time and work on it in pieces. You might pick up a tidbit you’ve been lax on that will dramatically change your game.

Footnote: Spell check suggested that I replace the word “supinating” with “urinating.” I hope it didn’t mean in the golf swing.

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The Dreaded Golf Tan

I’m trying to look at it like a golfer’s badge of honor. I really am. It’s not working. My sleeves, necklines and skort lengths vary, so while it’s annoying in these areas, it’s not nearly as obnoxious as the prominent line around my ankles. My left hand is pale, but it doesn’t quite look like I’m wearing a glove when I’m not. I have ordered one of those tan-through gloves so I’ll let you know how that goes. My feet, though! It looks like I’m wearing footies when I’m barefoot! B.G. (before golf), I could wear one of my many, many pairs of sandals (I told you I’m obsessive) and not worry about the horror that is the golf tan. Forget sandals, now I can’t even wear a sling-back, mule or even pump without displaying it. And it’s not like I can wear sneakers or golf shoes to work. So what’s a girl to do? Certainly not wear stockings — not that it would help matters unless they’re opaque anyway. It’s summer, for crying out loud. Those self tanning lotions are too orange and streaky especially around contoured areas like the ankle and toes, so I tried that “Natural Glow” lotion to no avail. I can’t bring myself to get those ugly golf sandals that look like Birkenstocks on steroids. And who has time to tan them naturally? Those are the hours spent golfing — hence the problem. Fortunately, there are so many golfers out there and I work in a predominantly male industry where their numbers are even greater. For the most part, I’m with a new group of people every week and it can actually help break the ice or even build rapport with my customers, so I know it could be worse. That won’t stop me from wanting a solution, because it sure is distractingly unattractive which takes some of the fun away from wearing those cute shoes and thereby the pleasure of shopping for them! Hey, how about strap-on spikes, like old fashioned roller skates?

This has been a test of the Decidedly Girly Entry Broadcast System.

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Men’s primacy

I might have gone a little overboard with the posts today, but what the heck, I’m on vacation. I ought to be out golfing. Instead, I’m indoors writing about it and getting myself organized. I guess I lied when I said “Next: a beginner’s first eagle.” That will be the next full article, though. At least I think it will!

Anyway, what’s with the preference towards men in golf? Why is it the PGA and the LPGA? And the U.S. Open and the U.S. Women’s Open? Why not the PGA and the MPGA and the U.S. Open and the U.S. Men’s Open? Just a thought… and this won’t be the last you hear from me along these lines.

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Reason #2

Again, these reasons I love golf are in no particular order.
Reason #2: The scenery! Look at the places I get to spend my time! This is a teaser of more photos and descriptions to come. This is looking back at hole #16 at Ko’olau.

Reason #1: The Brotherhood

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