Crap – what now?

It’s immensely painful to just sit in this chair and type. I will make this very short.

Our club championship is determined based on a match play bracket. I have won two matches and the two players who win the next matches play each other for the flight championships. Then the flight champions play against each other for the club championship. I am the reigning club champ. The next match is this Saturday. If I can’t play, I forfeit. That sucks.

What makes it even more interesting is that if I win my next match and Greg also wins his, we go up against each other for the flight championship. I really need to be able to play this one to try to get there.

If anyone has any ideas for a winning self medication prescription, I’m listening.

Please, help…

Kristen

Next post.

Some of you might have noticed I’ve been playing more golf on weekdays… and not on travel days. That’s because I was recently laid off from my job. Of course, I feel like I should be playing golf EVERY day now. It’s amazing how many things there are to do when you lose your job. Where does all my time go? Plus, there’s the ever-present element that makes me want to save my money now. Perhaps that’s the Capricorn in me, if you believe in that stuff. Wait, the Capricorn thing is supposed to be the element that makes me feel like a lowlife dirtbag if I’m not working my ass off. I never thought I garnered so much of my identity from my work until I didn’t have any. It’s not really that I saw myself as my title as I just need to be working at something to feel valuable. I’d like to spend that energy on golf, but I have to be realistic.

Hey, I just thought of something about where all my time goes. It’s there – I just don’t pack as much into it anymore. They say (damn them) “if you want something done, give it to a busy person.” I’m not busy enough to get enough done. Maybe if I golf more, I’d fit more into the rest of my day. I knew if I circled around this enough I could rationalize more golf!

Oh, and does anyone out there want to hire a golf chick?

Next post.

In a recent, unrelated post, some comments were made about the LPGA needing some kind of shot to the arm to increase viewership and interest. While those comments were focused more on the influence of Korean golfers, it seems to me that the “problem” is more fundamental and rests with the fans.

I think it’s a shame that women golfers have to market themselves to the calendar crowd in order to bolster the viewership. It may be a shame, but at this point, it’s probably necessary. You don’t see this happening with the men. I certainly don’t want to see a half naked Singh or Daly, but I love to watch them golf.

Keep your shirt on. Photo from the Augusta Chronicle.

If we really want the LPGA to grow, we need more good players. If it gets to the point that only the beautiful ones get endorsement packages and the accompanying support that goes with them, regular looking but talented girls will be discouraged from pursuing the sport as a profession. Herein lies the catch-22: the purses are too small (though growing) to inspire the same kind of dedication in female golfers as male golfers. To increase the prize money, we need to generate more revenue. To generate more revenue, what do we need? Better golf or better-looking golf?

The LPGA is an association for professional athletes, not beauty queens. That some of them are stunning ought to be a bonus, not the focus. By focusing on the cover-model golfers, we’re kind of growing the interest while narrowing the field with irrelevant standards. One place to start would be with a sponsor (say, Nike) endorsing and promoting the hell out of a good golfer with an interesting personality but maybe not the best looking (say, Christina Kim, or better yet, someone more obscure that we don’t know yet). There’s a saying that “it takes money to make money.” How about some sponsors investing some serious dough for the purses to make it really interesting? And investing in some good golfers to make it about an athletic competition instead of a golf event as the talent portion of some beauty pageant?

It’s the age old dilemma… the media show us what they think we want to see because they want our money. We buy their products because it’s what’s there. Sure, sex sells but so does talent.

Maybe we need an entirely new Association — the BGA (Beautiful Golfers Association) for men and women. We can have a panel that selects the talent (ahem) and they all compete against one another for huge prize money. And we can have judges decide who wins. It wouldn’t be entirely based on score, either – that would just be one segment of the judging. Okay, maybe it’s not an association to rival the PGA and LPGA… it’s more of a bad reality show. But admit it — you’d watch. And it just might stigmatize the selling of sexiness in the LPGA enough to put the focus back on golf there.

I started this by saying that the “problem” might rest with the fans. But only because we’re buying what they’re selling. Will we buy an LPGA that’s about golf?

Next post.

Today I played at Simi Hills. I walked on and got paired up with THE DULLEST golfer ever. It’s amazing what a difference that can make in a round. He might have said eight words to me the whole round, and never once even cracked a smile. Oowee, Tiara… I hope he’s near the top of the list for the personality transplant, because his has coded and is completely non-functional.

As for my round, it was dismal. I had to go spout off my mouth in a recent post about my consistency in hitting fairways with my driver. I hit a whopping 3 out of 13. A couple were in better position because I cut corners, but still. And as for greens… I don’t know why I carry a ball-mark repair tool. I didn’t hit a single green in regulation today. Maybe I just like being a janitor and cleaning up everyone else’s marks.

On the positive side, it was a beautiful day for an 18-hole walk. And for those of you who know the course, they are repairing that ravine on 11 that got damaged in the rains. Meanwhile, it’s temporarily a par-3 with a green in the middle of the fairway.

Oh, and there were literally THOUSANDS of tadpoles in the lake on 14. That place is going to be swarming with frogs soon. Ribbit! Also, I must have seen at least 50 bunnies. Most of them were in pairs, so that number’s getting bigger as I type!

Next post.

If you live in a climate where rattlesnakes thrive, ’tis the season, so be on the lookout!

Last week I played at Tierra Rejada. There are “caution: rattlesnake” signs posted around the course in certain areas, but I guess I had become complacent over the winter.

I had been paired up with a couple of big hitters from a local college team and their coach, but they left after nine holes so I was a single sandwiched between two foursomes. The course was pretty crowded, so there was no space to play through. It was a gorgeous day, the first one in a long time, so I tried not to let the waiting get to me. I admired the course, the vegitation, the rabbits and squirrels playing. Then I thought I’d go easter egg hunting while I waited. I had lost a few balls and thought I could replace them with a couple quick hunts.

I took two steps into the long grass and thought to myself “this is probably a bad idea – at least go back and grab a club to whack around in here.” Just as I took one step to the edge, a three-foot rattlesnake slithered right by my foot! No rattling, so he probably wasn’t a threat, but I admit I squealed and jumped. Sure, in hindsight that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. It was lucky the snake didn’t seem to mind. And I’m glad there was no one nearby to witness it.

The guys I played with on the front nine spotted a baby one just off the cart path by one of the tees. They’re out there, so be careful!

I decided I didn’t really want to find anymore golf balls that day.

Next post.

Here’s a “forward” thinking idea — or is it just another feminist tirade?

Even though some courses have their own color coding system, the forward tees on a golf course are often referred to as the red tees. Many people call them the “ladies tees,” which I think is the problem stigmatizing these poor, underused tee markers around the country (maybe the world).

The idea behind the multiple tee marker placements is to give golfers a choice of how long and/or difficult of a course they want to play. Sometimes there are even shorter tees than the “reds,” often called junior tees. Most men, however, simply refuse to play from any tees in front of the “whites,” or middle tees.

Here’s an idea — maybe the tees should be posted with recommended handicap indexes. Some courses actually require proof of a lower index in order to play from the “backs” or “tips” as they’re sometimes called. Malibu Country Club is one such course. Why not have a similar situation at all tee placements — without the enforcement, except for extremes. That way, men wouldn’t feel emasculated when playing from alternate tee markers. Nor would they face the humiliation associated with a missed tee shot that doesn’t travel beyond those “ladies tees.” Now that indignity could rightfully fall on anyone who dinks their tee shot, from whichever markers they choose to start. Equal opportunity ridicule – I can take it.

Sure, I play from the forward tees. I also play from the whites. On really short courses, I’ve even been known to play from the blues. It’s so nice having options! Why shouldn’t men feel that same sense of liberation? I’ve played with some old men who hit their driver about as far as I hit my 7-iron who insist on playing from the “men’s tees.” Sometimes when I choose to play the whites, men even change their minds and suddenly decide to play the blues. Fellas, let me tell you: it’s neither manly nor impressive for you to play from further back if it’s just going to make you hack around more. I’ve sure seen my share of that, and it just makes me laugh (on the inside, of course). Then they get all frustrated and don’t enjoy their game. Why waste your money and spoil your day? And let’s not forget those poor folks behind you that have to wait around for you to find your ball and hit it four more times just to make room for them to hit.

As the game continues to grow and more people take to the field, I think the tee marker system needs an overhaul. There need to be more options for different skill levels, not just the big hitters. But there also needs to be an adjustment to the mindset about the different tees. Whether you’re a new golfer struggling to learn the game, a senior citizen, a high handicapper, or just a shorter hitter, why not play from further up? Even low handicappers might enjoy a change and a new challenge on a familiar course. Give it a try!

Next post.