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Taking a 10 – Golf Art and Poetry

June 15, 2013 / / 10 Comments

Originally published in my column at worldgolf.com – some poetry for hackers.

 

 

The air is crisp. The wind is still. The golf clubs are shiny.

I break the silence with a clean thwack and watch as my ball flies with purpose across a bright blue sky that seems to serve only as a canvas for my stroke.

The ball bounces and rolls through the dew, smudging the immaculate fairway before it settles in the middle. I trace its line with my steps as if following a shooting star. My feet press my signature into the grass.

The sun initiates its assignment, peeking over the horizon to slowly, subtly lighten the blue. A tree branch catches some stray beams, diffuses their strength.

I choose my next brush and again interrupt the quiet air to apply another stroke. For a moment the line is lost as the thin application takes an imaginative path.

From an unplanned perspective I mask out the grainy shoreline that guards my focal point about 40 yards away. I hear encouragement in the waking song of a bird. This is my specialty. This is my bread and butter. I scrape a chunk of butter and hear the songbird laugh.

Five feet closer than I was, the hue increases in intensity. My focus gets so sharp that it blurs, and I nearly take the skull right off the ball with my passionate flair. The line I produce has such speed that it threatens to leave the floating canvas, but it comes to rest near a dried red border.

My golf ball looks comfortable, resting its sore head in a soft depression as it tries to hide among the long reeds and clumps of soil. A roadrunner stares into my soul from the edge of the tulles. From this angle, I am offered another pristine beach that demands to be left unsullied.

Shunning artistic convention, I defiantly pollute the beach with my next stroke. I look back toward the tulles and see the arrogant roadrunner walking slowly away.

These sands are so beautiful they really shouldn’t be so close to the green. As I step into my new medium, I notice its morning texture and decide on my stroke technique. Two strokes later, I smooth the sand’s surface, trying to re-create the groundskeeper’s magnum opus, and ascend to the silky green palette, now splattered with my own gritty handiwork.

I admire the curves and slopes from all angles before going back to the deckled edge where my ball is perched. I imagine a 25-foot arch painted from my ball to the hole; I intend to glaze it with my next stroke. As I carefully apply it I am immediately aware that a lighter touch would have made a more appealing picture. I watch as its path exposes previously unseen slopes.

Appreciating the nuances I missed, I study the area again to prepare for a smooth, 10-foot brush stroke. My amateur eye is revealed as I again fail to connect the dots and my line ends inches from the hole.

I swiftly complete the connection.

As I walk toward the next frame in this outdoor museum, I tally my marks on the last and announce quietly to the ether my double-digit result:

10.

I must be imagining the mockingbird repeating it back to me again and again: 10, 10, 10.

To avoid a messy composition I try to suppress all the swing thoughts bubbling up as a result of that 10. Forget the golden sections. Forget the rule of thirds. Forget atmospheric perspective. Keep the focal point.

Another day of happily embracing the gestalt theory is underway.

There’s Nothing Average About Par

November 1, 2011 / / 14 Comments

I have been thinking about how hard golf is and how most people never break 80, let alone shoot par, and remembered this article I wrote that originally published over at World Golf. It has been so long now since I wrote it I thought I’d share it with you here now. Would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of par!

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What is par? The American Heritage Dictionary defines par as “an amount or level considered to be average” or in sports usage “the number of golf strokes considered necessary to complete a hole or course in expert play.”

How — or more to the point, why — did a word meaning average get morphed into expert when it pertains to golf? Experts in golf are a tiny fraction of the golfing population. The rest of us are left struggling to achieve such a high standard which is, perhaps, one of golf’s addictive properties. But does it even have any relevance?

Why do golf holes and golf courses have numbers set for par? Whether par on a hole is 3, 4 or 5, if you shoot 5, your score is still 5. And if your total score for 18 holes is 85, does it really matter if par is 70 or 72? You know if 85 is a good score for you or not. Aren’t personal goals more relevant than par? I guess par can be a good reference point when setting your own goals. For example, if you’re playing a long or tricky “par 4” hole, you might be happy to make a 5 or 6 there. I know some people set their own personal pars that might be equal to an “official” bogey or double bogey on any given hole. So what difference does par make to the average (not par) golfer?

According to the USGA, any hole measuring 400 yards or longer is a par 5 for women, regardless of what the scorecard states. If the scorecard lists a hole at 425 yards as a par 4 and a male and a female both shoot a 4, she gets to feel better about it and consider it a birdie? Yawn. At the end of a round, my score is still what it is so who cares? Handicap calculations are based on the USGA course and slope ratings for both genders from a given set of tees and the formula doesn’t consider par. In fact, the USGA offers a formula for determining the Bogey Rating of a course and recommends that “every golfer worse than a scratch” use it as a “truer yardstick of the challenge.”

I recently played a course with my boyfriend and we both played from the same set of tees at 6575 yards. Here is an example of the Bogey Rating in action:
Him: Slope Rating (121) divided by 5.381 (set value for men), plus the Course Rating (69.0) = Target score of 91.48. Actual score: 88
Me: Slope Rating (138) divided by 4.24 (set value for women), plus the Course Rating (75.2) = Target score of 107.74. Actual score: 100

*Interesting side note: if I use the men’s ratings with the women’s set value or the women’s ratings with the men’s set value, the result is much closer to my actual score.

I have my own, more precise calculator that uses my actual handicap index rather than just a standard bogey golfer index and it gave me a target score of 94, so the 100 I shot was 6 over. Greg’s target would have been 83 so his 88 was 5 over.

On the scorecard, par is 72, but there are 4 “par 4” holes from these tees longer than 400 yards which adds four more strokes to par for women for a 76. If we compared our scores to par instead of our targets, I would have been 24 over and Greg would have been 16 over. Like many golfers of our skill levels (our indices only differ by 2.3), he actually does compare his score to par. I just don’t see the point.

Considering that most golfers aren’t experts, if we’re going to put par on a card, shouldn’t we also list some kind of a bogey golfer par? Since par is synonymous with average, Par could be the higher number for the average player target score and the lower number that is currently called par could be called Expert Target Score (ETS).

In golf, there is nothing average about par.

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Tiger’s Dominance Is All About His Mental Game

February 2, 2008 / / 3 Comments

Yes, it’s another post about Tiger Woods. I’m just so in awe.

I have always enjoyed rooting for underdogs when I don’t have a favorite player or team to support in any given contest. However, I also appreciate excellence. I love seeing Tiger dominate so thoroughly just as I want to see The Patriots win the Super Bowl and have the perfect season. I’d be happy to watch Tiger win every tournament he plays this year (and he sure looks like he could pull that off).

It just seems impossible for anyone to be so consistently good at a game with so many intricacies that he outplays his peers every time. It’s to the point that he doesn’t really have peers. He’s in a flight all his own. For anyone who has ever played this crazy game, Tiger’s performance is beyond impressive to the point that it’s almost unbelievable.

I contend that the difference between him and every other golfer in the world is purely mental. Any one of those guys on Tour can train with coaches, work hard and perfect their swings so they can execute most of the time. The difference is maintaining the mental state to execute it more frequently. And keep maintaining it on the putting green. Hole after hole, round after round, tournament after tournament. Only Tiger has shown he can do that.

Is it in our genes?

I have the ability to focus at times, but I know my nature and how easily distracted I can be. There’s only so much “zone” my brain will allow. So, is the ability to have that kind of mental game in our DNA? I think so. Oh, we can work on it and train our minds and improve, but I think our potential in this capacity is hardwired. The thing is, we don’t know what we’re capable of so we can just keep pushing and trying. And when we hit a wall, we can go get new equipment because there must be something else going on. (If we “upgrade” from the latest driver to the greatest driver and it helps, it’s probably a placebo effect anyway.) Oh, don’t you love this game?

Demonstrating how the USGA can play all the games it wants and it won’t bother him, Tiger recently commented on the meaninglessness of par (I agree). Talking about how the USGA makes changes to par for certain holes and tournaments, he said:

“The USGA just thrives on that … Par is just a number. What I mean by that is that Pebble could set up for a 72, and I would have been what, 16-under par? So under par doesn’t really matter that much. It’s just going out there and shooting a number.”

It’s just going out there and shooting a number, people! Sure, mine’s (way) above par and his is below. Eh… Par, shmar.

Anyway, I have to wonder what goes on in Tiger’s mind during a round. Not par. Not comments from wishful rivals. Is it the number? Certain swing thoughts? Is it like a chamber of silence?

Is it possible to be hyperbolic when discussing Tiger?

Is Tiger approaching a singularity to transcend even his own biological limitations? Someday, will there be a chip we can install in our brains that will allow us to do the same? Am I totally geeking out right now? Will I ever be able to write anything besides a question again? Is it time for a martini?

New Worldgolf column: thoughts on par

July 10, 2007 / / 0 Comments

In my latest column at worldgolf, I discuss the relevance (or irrelevance) of the almighty par.

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Apparently there’s some big golf tournament going on

June 14, 2007 / / 0 Comments

Sports writers and golf bloggers are covering the U.S. Open and Oakmont Country Club with the same fervor of CNN covering Paris Hilton. No detail left unreported.

Of course the difference is sports writers and golf bloggers are supposed to write about golf. It’s right there in their titles. The Cable News Network is supposed to cover the news. Even if they could somehow win an argument that Paris Hilton is news, that doesn’t excuse them from failing to report on all the real news going on while they spend 24 hours on Shawskank Redemption (thanks, Jon Stewart).

But since this isn’t the Shmaily Shmow, I’ll get back to golf.

There is so much being said about this tournament and the golf course that I really don’t feel I have much to add. Just like I do, you can get all the latest from the fine bloggers in my links list as well as the journalists on the commercial sites. I’ll just watch and root on my favorites like the fan I am. And I’ll be checking in with Brandon Tucker for live bloggerage from the event. Congrats to Worldgolf for getting media credentials for their bloggers at recent events!

Speaking of Worldgolf, they’re conducting a survey and if you complete it, you’re entered into a drawing to win a set of Ping clubs and bag.

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Women’s golf week June 2 – June 9

May 30, 2007 / / 3 Comments

I wrote about Women’s Golf Week in my Worldgolf column this month. Also, check out the Play Golf America site for more information.

I suppose that’s a better name than Golf chick’s week, but either way, let’s get out there and play.

Honorable mention: it seems the photo Worldgolf used for my column was taken by “Christ” Baldwin. Has Baldy’s ego reached new heights or does it just mean I’ve been blessed?

Update: The photo credit has been edited to read “Chris” instead of “Christ.” Just to prove I’m not insane, here is a snapshot of it before the adjustment. I may still be insane, but this won’t be the proof. Unless I’m crazy to prolong this but that’s another story.

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The Dreaded “Y word” at Worldgolf

May 1, 2007 / / 5 Comments

Well, it’s that time of month again. No, not the time when I get all cranky and roll around in chocolate – my latest column is up at Worldgolf. Since their disaster of a new site design isn’t just ugly, but a navigational nightmare, you might want to use my link below if you want to read it. Hmm… maybe it is that time of the month after all. I hope I don’t get fired for voicing that opinion.

Anyway, the column is about understanding the bizarre phenomenon called The Yips. WAIT – hear me out: as a superstitious person myself, it was a daunting topic for me at first. But the more I learned about it, the more comfortable I was talking about it without fearing that I’d catch it.

Unfortunately, I have a small word count range in these columns so it’s difficult for a long-winded writer such as myself to turn in anything substantive. I plan to follow up that article with more about the topic here on The Golfchick blog. I have a very cooperative friend named Neil who is suffering from the putting yips and I hope to include video clips in future posts. I guess the column could be considered an introduction to what might become a series here. We’ll see!

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Latest submission up at worldgolf

April 3, 2007 / / 0 Comments

My latest column is up at worldgolf.com. Well, most of it is.

In light of my recent circumstances and the strong feelings I have about my personalized golf gear, I thought it would be nice to do a column on the personal nature of such items and the impact they can have on a person’s golf game.

I wanted to bolster the article with some thoughts from someone in the business. Since Scott at Tartan Golf Grips provides such comfort items (including my putter grip) and knows a little bit about what they can mean to a golfer, I included a quote from him in my original submission. Worldgolf removed that portion of the article, probably because it was essentially free advertising and they make their living on selling advertising. Can’t blame them, plus I tend to come in over the desired word count anyway. They were also nice enough to retrieve the photo of my gear from my site (I didn’t submit it with the article) and include it in the story, so I give ’em props for that. However, the cut paragraph lended itself to summarizing my thoughts on the topic and segued nicely into my closing sentence.

So if you read it, please mentally insert this blurb in the article right before the closing line:

Scott Tesar, owner of TartanGolfGrips.com, finds it rewarding to provide such a distinctive product that enhances people’s enjoyment of the game on such a personal level. Speaking about his Artan(TM) grip designs and feedback he has received from customers, he says “Many people derive a sense of identity, pride and comfort from their family heritage and history… It’s just basic human nature to enjoy seeing your name and when it’s incorporated into a piece of golf equipment that you use on every hole, and it looks attractive, it creates positive energy and differentiation that contributes to a feeling of confidence on the course.”

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All riled up and groovy at Worldgolf.com

February 26, 2007 / / 6 Comments

Golf chick gets her groove on?

The possibility of a rule change regarding the grooves on golf clubs has me all riled up. Check out my latest column at worldgolf.com and see why the USGA and golf club manufacturers might not think I’m a groovy chick.

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Steroid testing in golf

January 29, 2007 / / 1 Comment

Some women are naturally stronger or more athletic than others. Some really work on their bodies to increase their strength and skills. Some are more logically than emotionally oriented. These women already have an edge against their peers and will be among the first to be accused of “juicing.”

I know from experience that such an accusation, however tongue-in-cheek it is disguised, can rile a girl. A word to the innocent – don’t react angrily; it’ll just fuel their malice or raillery with innuendos of ‘roid rage to further push your buttons.

My new column on Worldgolf.com discusses the topic of steroid testing in golf.

For more opinions on this subject, check out these posts on The Sand Trap, Golf Punk and The Golf Blogger. If I’ve left out your favorite reference or you have your own opinions, let me know!

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