The Golfchick

That chick blabbing about anything golf related.

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The New Man in My Life Won’t Let Me Play Golf

Until now, no man in my life (other than Dad) has ever, would ever, could ever, make me do something I didn’t want to do. Or – more to the point – stop me from doing something I really wanted.

Then came Vito.

Vito the Great Dane

Vito is my new prison warden family member. He is a 3-year old Great Dane and is the sweetest, softest jailer I can imagine. Greg and I adopted him from a rescue a week ago today. He is well mannered and incredibly affectionate. He loves everyone he meets, doesn’t beg at the table, comes when he’s called and just wants to be loved. And therein lies the snag.

Within an hour of meeting each other, he bonded to me so securely he could be the poster boy for Krazy Glue. He’s my shadow. He follows me everywhere – and I do mean everywhere. Let’s just say I’m glad my shower has doors and not a curtain. I was told he had mild separation anxiety, but that was a serious understatement. Perhaps he just didn’t quite bond in this way with people at his foster homes. If I leave the house, he whines, cries, moans, fiddles with the doorknob and scratches at the door. It’s truly heartbreaking. So I don’t leave the house unless he goes with me. The darling boy just needs to trust that he’s truly home now and that I’ll always come back to him. So we are working on his issues and running the drills according to behaviorists. His doctor prescribed Prozac, but I’m going to hold off on that because I want to give him time to settle in and let the training take its course.

Meanwhile, I don’t know of any golf courses that would be cool with having a big, clumsy goofball trailing along with me out there. So golf (and many other outings) are on hold for now. In fact, I was supposed to be in Las Vegas this weekend but I stayed behind while everyone else left today for the festivities. I’m happy to have Vito in my life and we’re going to have a fun weekend together, but I look forward to a healthier relationship when my new man will let me play golf. And go to the bathroom in peace.

Hitting Fairways + Greens: Contest!

The latest issue of Fairways + Greens is out now. Actually, it has been out for awhile but I’ve been negligent about posting this. They call it the “pink issue,” and it displays Paula Creamer – the Pink Panther – on the cover. It covers many topics related to women’s golf, and an entire section called “Girl-friendly Golf” starting on page 58, with an article called “Where the Girls Are” authored by myself and Katharine Dyson. F+G is a magazine primarily distributed in the West and Southwest United States and can be found at most golf courses and retailers in those areas. Otherwise, you can read it online here.

Paula Creamer F+G cover

Play and win

Now comes the contest part. The article is broken up by recommended golf courses, some of which were written by me and some by Ms. Dyson. Can you tell which is which? Prizes will go to the first three people to submit comments on this post that correctly identify which courses I wrote up for the article. I have been told it’s easy to spot my writing, but you can also try to surmise the answers based on courses I’ve actually played, which can be found on this site. I hope you’ll participate, and good luck to all!

As for the prizes, I have three of the same item that were generously donated for this purpose. I haven’t written about this particular product yet, but it’s something I enjoy immensely and is appropriate for the nature of this contest. It is gender-neutral item. Stay tuned for more to come!

Update 7/17/08: I’m embarrassed to report that none of the answers submitted were correct. They were close, though, and I appreciate the participants who entered. With that in mind, I will be awarding two of the prizes to Rob and Eric “speedcat” Hollydale and one to an offline player who read the magazine, immediately chose the correct courses and inspired this contest.  Rob and Eric, please email the address where you want your prize sent to me at kristen(at)thegolfchick(dot)com. I will be publishing a new post soon about the prize itself.

For the record, the correct answers were: Turtle Bay, Four Seasons Aviara, and Osprey Meadows at Tamarack. (My experience at Monarch Beach was that it was overrated, overpriced, under-maintained, and less than welcoming for a “resort course.”)

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Tiger Woods has work done, Lorena Ochoa takes the spotlight

Tiger’s website says he underwent “arthroscopic knee surgery” last week and will be out 4-6 weeks while he rehabilitates.

Translation (from internal memo):

Worn part #52a92J replaced in subject Gpr8#kl2. Actual time out of commission: 5.8 Earth minutes. Cover story issued to handlers. “Arthroscopic knee surgery” often requires 4-6 weeks of rehabilitation time in actual humans, therefore subject and handlers may use this as justification for not participating in several undesirable events as well as recent loss at the human revered “Masters.”

This “down time” and distraction allows us to focus on our internal reorganization and determine how best to assign our assets between subjects Gpr8#kl2 and Bw8^p4m. For those not previously involved in subject Bw8^p4m’s development and assimilation, we gave it a human female form with Mexican heritage and call it “Lorena Ochoa.” You will receive further information if you are transitioning to this case.

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Golfing with the Stars

John Elway, George Brett, Ozzie Smith, Ladanian Tomlinson, Dr. J, Mario Lemieux – these are just some of the professional athletes who will be competing in the Team Challenge. It’s a charity golf tournament like no other. Fans actually get to participate by virtually coaching the all-star team of their choice and having money contributed to the charities just for doing it. Star players from professional football, baseball, basketball and hockey will be competing against one another for bragging rights and dollars for charity. $250,000 that is, that you can actually make grow.

I grew up in Colorado, so I have a binding contract to be a loyal Denver Broncos fan for life. I adore John Elway. When I was growing up there, the Colorado Rockies didn’t exist, and the first professional baseball game I saw was as a teenager on a traveling softball team and we went to Kansas City. I remember giggling with the girls as we worshiped George Brett’s butt from our seats so close to third base it probably made him uncomfortable. Personal connections aside, I will be in awe as I watch so many talented athletes I admire take on the Eagle Falls Golf Course in Palm Springs.

Okay, so maybe I won’t actually be golfing with them, but if all goes well with my schedule, I’ll be there. Unless some wise corporation needs a fourth in the pro-am, that is. *blink blink*

Other golf bloggers will be there as well, and you can read more about that and other details of the event in my post on Swing Thoughts at Golf For Women.

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Duh… what’s a birdie?

You have probably encountered people who work at golf courses who don’t know the first thing about golf. Do you care?

If they have any kind of impact on the course of play, of course they should know about golf. Course attendants or marshals need to know how things work to do their jobs effectively. Pro shop workers need to be able to assist golfers when necessary. The cart girl needs to understand etiquette out there but does she need to know anything else? What about 19th hole workers?

I have talked with some people about this and opinions vary. Some guys I’ve talked to don’t care as long as the person in question is a hot chick. Some actually want them to know as little as possible because they think they’re more likely to impress them if they’re golf dumb. Some feel the opposite – “the more they know, the better I’ll look.” Some like a cute, giggly “what’s a birdie” question so they have an in to chat with her. Some like to make golf small talk with the bartender as s/he’s pouring their pre-round bloody mary.

What do you think? Here’s a quick poll to let your opinion be heard.

Poll Closed. Thanks for voting!

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A Blasphemous Look at The Masters

Forgive me, but I enjoy watching The Masters.

When most people think of watching a program as a guilty pleasure, they think American Idol or Dancing with the Stars. For me, it’s The Masters. I’m sure not too many people are ashamed to say they enjoy the tournament, and saying that I am ashamed won’t make me very popular in the golf community. But not admitting it would be like hearing a racist or sexist joke among a group and politely smiling instead of speaking up.

I don’t know of another tournament that could make a male player publicly cry when they lose (like Brandt Snedeker did yesterday). It’s an important event – perhaps the most important in the history of golf. There is glory in its tradition. But in this modern world in which women are allowed to vote and everything, does there come a time when glory becomes glorification? When will sexist traditions become part of that “rich history” along with the racist ones and not present policy? Changing the way things are done doesn’t discount existing history, it only enriches future history books.

I respectfully disagree with anyone who thinks discriminatory practices should continue in order to “preserve the honor and tradition” of the course and/or the event. In my opinion, entry to the tournament should be earned based on merit. Entry to the club should still be at the discretion of the members. And though there may not be many (if any) women who meet those qualifications today, they should not be summarily disallowed as a group.

In my latest post at Swing Thoughts on Golf For Women, I discuss my feelings on this further, with particular focus on Augusta National’s policies.

Please feel free to leave your comments. I may or may not respond.

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Ridiculous Rory misses the mark at The Masters

I know, I know… The Masters is still going on and is engaging as all get out with Tiger making a charge today, the first day’s leader (Justin Rose) plummeting to near the bottom of the leaderboard, and 3 players at the top of the leaderboard each with three solid rounds under par. And what do I write about? Ridiculous Rory Sabbatini.

He missed the cut – so much for “breaking the curse” after winning the par 3 contest. Fortunately, that means we don’t get treated to a weekend of ridiculous belt buckles. Yesterday’s gem not only had no place at Augusta, it has no place on Rory. I’m sorry, I just think he’s incapable of pulling off this “style” he’s been attempting. His entire persona seems affected, and his choice in apparel seems out of place on him. Geoff Shackelford made a good call back at Riviera: Rory: Liberace called, he wants his belt buckle back.

Lord knows I’m no fashionista, but I like to think I know what I can pull off and what I can’t. Rory looks as ridiculous in his piped trousers, loud colors, flashy belt buckles and tiny visors as I would in booty shorts and knee socks, and a cocky strut doesn’t change that for either of us. I could stuff a potato into a G.I. Joe outfit, name him Paolo, give him a mysterious back-story and a sympathetic and intriguing character image, and he’d still look like a spud in doll’s combat clothes.

Whether his duds are his own choices or if someone else is dressing him (I find that hard to believe), it certainly has gotten him attention. If that was the whole point, congratulations. But if he wanted that attention to be positive – another missed cut.

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Beware the passive-aggressive sandbagger

You know the cheating scumbags when you see them. The ones who intentionally post higher scores or conveniently “forget” to post their low scores. The obvious techniques to pad handicaps and gain extra strokes in competitions are easy to spot. But what about the passive-aggressive cheaters?

There is a sneakier behavior I only recently noticed. Perhaps there’s a weasel in your midst. Is there a person in your club who consistently plays better than his or her handicap in tournaments? Maybe you even play casual rounds with them or witness them entering accurate scores after rounds. They can look you in the eyes and be sincere when they say they post every score, count every stroke and vigilantly apply Equitable Stroke Control. You (and they) are comfortable in their honesty because they actually are truthful statements. So where is the sneakiness? Out on the golf course during casual rounds. They play enough to keep their games sharp, so as soon as they realize they’re not setting any personal bests in a round, they get intentionally lazy. They don’t focus or try their best to make putts. Flub a chip here, slice a drive there. Their scores become inflated and the score they post at the end of the round is technically accurate but not indicative of their actual abilities.

But why be aware of this when there is really nothing you can do about it? How can you “call out” a person when you have no proof of their intentions out there? All you can hope for is that your handicap chairman recognizes it and audits the person’s index. Adjustments can be made at that level such as attaching more weight to rounds (giving them T-score ratings) or even manually changing a course handicap for tournament play.

Maybe if they know you’re onto them, they’ll be guilted into changing their behavior. Everyone knows an obvious sandbagger and they probably get harassed about it, but the crafty weasels with the passive-aggressive techniques deserve their share of ribbing as well.

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No bogeys, no yips? Just zombies and drips.

I think we can all agree it would be amazing to play a round of golf with our favorite professional. They might even relax a little and have a fun, light-hearted round. But to see them on tour is a different story. Calm, cool, and in some cases, even zombie-like, professional golfers mean business out there. They have to – it is their business.

If you could take a pill that would make you perform at that staid level, it might enhance your score. But would it enhance your day? This is the topic of discussion on my latest post over at Swing Thoughts on Golf For Women, which followed an interesting (and perhaps provocative) story by John Cassidy at Men’s Vogue.

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Pro golf in the Caribbean

Here’s a phrase I don’t use every day: I’m really excited to watch the Champions Tour this weekend.

Why? They’re playing at my happy place, Punta Espada Golf Course at Cap Cana. I absolutely LOVE this golf course and seeing it in play by the seniors is going to be wonderful. If watching it on television is the closest you can get for now as well, I highly recommend checking it out.

I had to amend my TiVo to-do list, as my PGA “wish list” was picking up the regular PGA Tour as well as the European Tour above the Champions since they start earlier.

It’s on The Golf Channel at the following times:
Friday: 1 PM – 3 PM EST
Saturday and Sunday: 1 PM – 4 PM EST

I shot a video at this course when I played there a couple years ago. You can see it here. And here is my original post about my experience there.

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