The Golfchick

That chick blabbing about anything golf related.

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Happy 11th birthday to the Goose!

Kess, a.k.a. “The Goose” turns eleven years old today! She is still recovering from her recent surgery, so she’s got a convenient old-lady-like wobble to her gait to mark the occasion. And the huge patch on her back that was shaved is taking its time growing back. I guess she really wants to milk the sympathy on this one like a kid with a cast on his arm. We just think you look silly, Goose. (For anyone wondering, I have discovered the item that can’t be found for sale online, not even on E-bay: Doggy toupees.)

“How undignified. I am not amused.”

Happy Birthday, Goose!

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The City that Never Golfs?

I absolutely love New York City. I don’t think I could live there, but I sure enjoy visiting and love it when work takes me there. I go to a lot of crap places, so it’s nice when I actually like the city I visit. There is so much to do and see and I feel so alive when I’m there. But as it says on my NASA T-shirt, I need my space. If I lived there I would need golf even more than I do now, just for the elbow room. With everything that it has to offer, it’s easy to understand why the city never sleeps. And with all that activity, residents must need to golf if only for the serenity the surroundings would offer. But where? I have played in New York state, but if you live in or visit the city, where does one find a golf course?

Here’s the view from the desk in my suite this week.

And a different angle from the bedroom. Not a hint of green – not even a golf advertisement.

There must be golf courses in the surrounding burroughs, because there sure isn’t any golfing in Manhattan that I can see. Especially not in Times Square. The city guide on my desk advertised a huge golf retail store (not surprising). I almost went just to get some kind of a fix for my addiction, but I didn’t have time. If I’m ever there long enough, I guess I might have to venture out to Long Island or Staten Island to get my dose.

Next post.

I want to putt like Tiger Woods

Yeah, who doesn’t?

I admit it. Putting is not among my favorite things about playing golf. I like whacking that little ball and watching it fly. Putting just isn’t sexy. I’m pretty sure Tiger Woods would vehemently disagree on that point, which is why I’d really like to change my own attitude about it. While my golf game is teeming with opportunities for improvement, putting is easily identifiable as an area where I could shave several strokes off my scores. Still, during practice sessions, I’d rather take full swings and hear that satisfying thwack. I really need to commit to working on my putting game off the course.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard “drive for show, putt for dough,” probably enough that we want to throttle the next person who says it. But let’s face it — most of us aren’t playing for the kind of dough that really makes putting that important. Maybe a couple bucks among friends. I do know that for me, the more there is at stake, the better I seem to putt. Evidently, even without practice, I could improve my scores with a little more focus on the greens when nothing’s on the line. Actually working on speed and touch and reading skills would serve to give me even greater probability of making those putts on which I really focus. Is that idea enough to inspire me to get out to the practice green more often?

Based on my data, if I eliminated only the stupid missed putts from my rounds over the last few months, I would have been in the 80s more frequently, in the lower 80s on several occasions, and possibly even have broken 80 once. Surely that idea is enough to inspire me to get out to the practice green more often, right? (I’ll call you Shirley if I want to.)

A tangent on different types of golfers

A lot of golfers can’t be bothered to improve their scores, they just like to get out there and “have fun.” Whatever. Sure it’s fun. But it’s more fun the better you do. And it’s even more fun if you’re competing. And it’s even more fun than that if you’re competing and you win. Winning is fun. Don’t misunderstand me — I absolutely enjoy playing the game. I’ll go out and play a round all by myself and truly enjoy it. I also know that every stroke of every round is helping me get better for the next time I am competing.

Then there’s that guy (you know you’ve played with him) who thinks he deserves to play better than he does even though he only plays once every couple of months. He gets down on himself for every poorly executed shot, and if he’s having any fun at all, he sure doesn’t show it. I played with that guy last weekend at Rustic Canyon. Fortunately, he figured it out around the 13th hole, flagged down the beer cart girl and enjoyed the rest of his round.

I hear people talk about Tiger’s golf game and it seems like it’s always about his distance, his drives, his amazing recoveries to get on the green out of trouble. Those are all fantastic, but if I had to pick one thing about Tiger’s game to emulate, it would most definitely be putting. I don’t watch a lot of golf on television, but when I do, or when I see highlights of his wins, he’s always making incredible putts! A lot of times, he’s not making birdie because he’s stuck it close to the flag, he’s making it because he can make the longer putts. He saves par the same way. He doesn’t turn a troublesome lie in the rough into a bogie by going for the pin because he doesn’t have to. He knows he can put it in the middle of the green and still make the putt for birdie or par. Even from the middle of the fairway, I’ll play smart sometimes and avoid that pin but then I’ll three-putt from 20 feet. Dumb. Won’t that idea get me out on the practice green more often? I want to putt like Tiger. If only I’d get out there and practice.

The Speculum Squat. What I would give to see through Tiger’s eyes.
I wonder if the line of the putt actually glows on the grass for him.

 

 

 

What now?

Okay, here’s my plan. I’m going to start calling it the “practice facility” instead of the “driving range” to try to readjust my thinking on a fundamental scale. And, the next time I go to the practice facility, I’m only taking my putter. I’m going to practice putting for a half hour once a week. That’s a reasonable goal. It might not sound like enough to really help, but I know that if I get overly aggressive with it, I’m not likely to follow through and then I’ll be disappointed that I didn’t. So I’ll set this modest target, and since it’s more than I’m doing now it should still help my game.

Next post.

I just want to golf

South Dakota last week, Boston this week, NYC next week. I think I’m doing something wrong here. Now that I’m a golfer, these should be summer travel locations so I can squeeze in rounds. I mean, I have to go where the work takes me and there’s only so much schedule juggling I can do to weasel in my golfing, but come on! Brrr, damnit.

Here’s the view from my hotel room window yesterday morning.
Okay, so at least I got the big fluffly flakes I like and it didn’t snow so much that driving
was difficult. Oh, the Massholes do a good enough job of that already.
The point is, I’d rather golf than see snowflakes the size of golf balls.

I guess it’s time to get serious about finding new employment.
(If my employer is reading this, that could mean something else within the company or a new arrangement with this position if possible.)

I would love to hear any ideas if you can think of something that will allow me to golf more. Telecommuting would be ideal since I’m used to that when I’m not on the road. A local (office or road-based) situation would be next best. Minimal travel that includes golf would be next… you get the idea – I want to be home more and golf more! Little help?

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Undiscovered golf course territory?

An “earth-like” planet, but five times the size of Earth? Do you know how many golf courses we could fit on that? No wonder they call it OGLE.

Now that the planet was discovered, let’s assemble a golfers’ expedition around the globe to plot new courses. It’s near the center of the Milky Way, you say? That’s my favorite part. What could be wrong with that?

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The golf blog I really want to write

I don’t go searching for new golf blogs to read. I leave that kind of research up to fellow bloggers like the big cats over at EatGolf and Hooked on Golf Blog and then I jump on the bandwagons I like. And I don’t put every blog I’ve checked out in my links list; I just put the ones I read frequently enough to subscribe to their feeds. I might start a more encompassing list of golf blogs and other golf sites, but that remains to be seen.

Today I’m adding a link to a relatively new golf blog called Luke Swilor’s Road to the Tour. Luke is a professional golfer playing in the mini-tours, trying to make it to the big show. To me, it is just riveting. I love getting the inside look at what it’s like on this path. And it’s got drama, too. I guess it’s leading up to Q-school at the end of the year and I have every confidence that he’ll make it. I’ll definitely be rooting for him.

I wish there was a female equivalent of this blog. I can’t seem to find any straight forward information on what that path even looks like or where the entry is. From what I can tell, there are nowhere near the number of “mini-tours” for women as there are for men. I suspect it would be a whole different ballgame trying to stay in the black since the purses are so disparate. Plus, I don’t even know where a person has to start as far as qualifying or going to golf school or anything. I bet there are some men who would like that kind of information from Luke. What did you do to get where you are now? What were the steps you had to take? Maybe I’ll have to create the female version.

Anyway, I wish I could say my blog was also subtitled “Road to the Tour.” Maybe I’ll call it

The Much (much) Longer Road to the (other) Tour.

Maybe I should get to be a scratch golfer before I worry about that. But a girl’s gotta have goals, right? Hey Luke – how about a friendly wager – a race to the tour? Since I just started golfing a little more than a year ago, how many years handicap will you give me? 😉Next post.

The Sunday Sunset adventure


Well, we opted for Sunset Hills this weekend since this nice couple we know invited us as their guests. We had never golfed with them before, so that was a treat in itself.

Speaking of treats

Is it part of golf etiquette or country club etiquette that when you bring in guests you also put whatever they order on your tab? Being relatively new to golf, I have only had the pleasure of being someone’s guest a few times. And being doggedly middle class, I of course haven’t my own membership to see things from the other side.

Beverages and snacks at the turn? “Put that on our tab, Charlie.” Refreshments from the cart girl? “Put that on our tab, Tracy.” Join us for lunch after the round? “Our treat.” Is this normal? It was quite gracious of them, but I’d rather be invited back to play more frequently. The real treat is being allowed out on the course.

Speaking of the course

Sunset Hills is our local dog run of the country clubs. It’s kind of short (6066 from the back, 5804 from the middle, 5543 from the forward tees) but tricky in places. It’s maintained pretty well but it’s not pristine by any means. It’s a nice little club and would be the only one we could afford to join if we wanted to give all our money to just one course. It has some narrow landing areas, but compared to some of the surrounding courses, it’s supposed to play a little “easier” with course and slope ratings of 68/118 for the men and 73.7/127 for the women from the white tees. Of course, those numbers don’t factor in the wind. I played from the whites, and according to my calculator, my target was a 92 to play to my handicap there.

The set up

Greg usually plays from the white tees and we didn’t have a discussion about it, and when he held out his hand for me to tee off first, that’s where I went. Then he proceeded to tee off from the blacks, which are an average of a whopping 10 yards longer per hole. Turns out he had been discussing it with our male host and they were wagering some kind of Nassau situation, so that’s where the “real” competition was. Yeah right. He knows it’s our card that counts, but now whatever happens, we’re not competing from the same level. Annie, our female host, has a whole different attitude on golf, so there would be no wagering between us, and she was playing from the forward tees anyway.

The sideshow

Annie was so much fun to play with and watch, though. She has a fun sense of humor, but her swing was to die for. It was like Charles Barkley trying to scoop ice cream from a giant bucket with a golf club. That it could be effective at all was astonishing, but she somehow (sometimes) made it work. The first time I was up next to the green on the right waiting for her to come up, I saw her stance was positioned to aim directly at me. I was about to panic but Dave waved at me to relax. Sure enough, her swing came around and the ball went past her left heel and right at the hole. How does she do that, and wasn’t it more difficult to adapt to that swing than it would have been to learn the “correct” way? She took mulligans on almost every hole, threw balls back into play and picked up on almost every green, so to her, golf is an entirely different type of amusement. And we got to share in that amusement by watching her play.

The round

I had played Sunset once before, but I couldn’t remember a single hole. Greg, on the other hand, has a photographic memory for golf holes and has played that course probably over a dozen times. When I was the only one to par the first hole, I thought we were off to a swell start, but I knew there was a lot more golf left to play.

It was pretty chilly out that morning and the wind was making it worse. Our hosts had a fancy heater in their cart along with their supply of Baileys and coffee. They were a fun twosome. I stuck to my water until the 6th hole, where I got some coffee from the cart girl just to warm up a little. The wind was picking up by the 8th hole, and after nine, I had a 45 with a five stroke lead on Greg, who shot an uncharacteristic 50. If I could keep it on this pace, I would play to my calculated target after all, if not below it. That’s my real gauge of my performance and progress. The wind really started ripping on the 10th hole and proceeded to increase the rest of the round. It went from 10-15 mph to 25-30 mph in a hurry.

A sign of things to come

After taking a disastrous 9 on the par-5 11th hole, we ran into some backup on the par-3 12th. It’s a short one (136 white and 138 black) but all carry over a ravine, with trees behind it. The wind was working from the back right of the green towards the left of the tee. We watched as the foursome in front of us gave it a go. They were well struck balls, but the wind carried three of the four of them back into the ravine. One just cleared but was still short of the green. The pin placement was tricky, too. The green slopes pretty severely back to front, and of course the pin was in the front. They told us the foursome before them six-putted as the wind pushed the ball off the front of the green multiple times. We watched the same thing happen to them as we made our club selections and strategized on the wind movement.

The guys teed off first, each playing a 7-iron into the wind to the right, theorizing the wind would bring it back to the green. Maybe the wind shifted directly left instead of forward, but both their shots went long and left, Dave’s being the only one that stayed in bounds just beyond the green. I did an exact instant replay of Greg’s shot, going OB into the trees behind and left of the green. Annie didn’t even bother trying, and just dropped on the other side. There was another foursome waiting and watching, so we didn’t hit second shots and instead went Easter-egg hunting while Dave and Annie struggled to get their balls in the hole. What technically should have been four “7x’s” went on our cards as fives. I’ve never done that before.

Ridiculously retarded wind

The wind persisted and the gusts got insane. My ponytail was helping to secure my hat, but it still flew off a number of times. The ball would blow right off the tee if you didn’t hit it fast enough. We couldn’t hear each other speaking and I didn’t have sunglasses so my eyes were getting gritty. It was no use removing leaves from the path of your putt because by the time you hit, they would be blown away and replaced with new ones anyway. Speaking of wind, this post is becoming exceedingly long. It’s odd. When speaking with people, I’m usually rather terse. When I write, especially today, I’m as long winded as a flatulent giraffe.

Hitting driver on a par-3

The 17th hole is a 202 yard par-3 and was going directly into the wind, which we figured was now up to about 40-50 mph with even stronger gusts. Dave hit driver from his tees (210 yards) and kept it low but missed the green long and left. Greg used his 3-wood but he got it up in the air a little too much. It ballooned up and he missed the green short left. I’d never done it before, so it felt strange teeing up with a driver at a par-3. After replacing the ball on my tee a couple times I fired a good one, dead straight and not too high or low that landed squarely on the green and settled in birdie range. I missed the birdie putt but tapped in for the miracle par of the day. Greg made a 20 foot bogey putt that was threatened by a leaf that blew in front of it right by the hole. It almost caused the ball to stop short, but it fell in the hole with dramatic flair. Dave also managed a bogey there. Eighteen is a par-5, also directly into the wind. Annie didn’t even bother playing and I picked up for a 7x before I even made it to the green.

The final result

I shot a disappointing 53(x) on the back, for a total of 98. Greg shot another 50(x) for a total of 100. I can’t really claim victory because of the tee difference, so I still haven’t realized that accomplishment. Oh, but it’s just a matter of time. He adjusted his three 8’s to 7’s and then another two strokes for good measure, posting a 95 for handicap calculating purposes. I adjusted my 9 to a 7 and my 5 on that par 3 to a more realistic 6 and posted a 97. It’ll be a high differential that won’t get used calculating next month’s handicap anyway, but it might come into play at some point. If course and slope ratings did factor in the weather conditions, 98 might have been a really good score for me. But I realized early on that I need to leave the word IF out of my golf vocabulary in order to minimize my frustration. And now I know I’d rather not play IF it’s going to be that windy. Sure, it’s probably good experience and will help my game in the long run, but I’ll have to get caught off guard again to get that kind of experience in the future. I left the course feeling brutalized and physically beaten, which was strangely rewarding but not something I’ll seek out again.

Next post.

Fodder for pranks

There seem to be some fun pranks being played in the golf blog realm between HOGB, Eat Golf and Bogey Lounge. Mediaguru at HOGB lamented that he didn’t have a picture to work with of Rich at Eat Golf. I feel I must contribute to the pranking of my friend Rich by posting this picture of us here. I have been reluctant to post photos of myself as well, but I guess it’s only fair that I don’t crop myself out if I’m going to do this so that I may also be fair game (even though I haven’t done anything to anyone but am totally capable so be nice). I cropped out our friend John since I don’t have his permission to post his photo. I’m crouching down in the photo to make my friends look and feel taller, and yes, we’re at a pub.

Have at it, Media!


Next post.

Golf Blogger Survivor: What’s the secret word?

Some of us bloggers are going to be participating in a new game. Heather, over at the Blogger Leaderboard on TravelGolf, is initiating and officiating this new game. I think she is calling it Golf Blogger Survivor. It starts on Monday.

Here’s the deal: On Monday, she will e-mail all the participants (contestants) a secret word. We have to use that word in a post on our golf blogs sometime that week with a deadline of Sunday. The following Monday, she will post a blog on the Leaderboard that will show how we all used the word (exposing the secret) and the voting begins. This is where you come in. Anyone can vote. Just go to the Blogger Leaderboard, read everyone’s entries, visit their sites for the full stories if you like, then vote for the one you like the best. Most creative or unusual? Best natural usage (most blended-in)? Funniest? You decide the criteria, you’re the voter. It sounds like fun to me.

I’m not sure why it’s called Survivor, because I don’t think anyone gets voted out of the competition. I guess we all get to keep competing for the duration of the contest because if we don’t get the most votes one week, we could still catch up the following week. It’s going to be at least three weeks and the prize is as yet undetermined. Oh, and this will be a gross event. No handicaps permitted.

I am adding a link to the Leaderboard on my list for easy access to view the contest and to vote. Plus, it’s a great place to go to find out what’s going on in the golf blogger world. Have fun, and vote for me! :)

Next post.

The rain out that shouldn’t have been

We were supposed to have our first tournament of the 2006 season with the Treehouse Golf Club this past Saturday. The weather had been sunny and beautiful, sunny and beautiful, sunny and beautiful, sunny and beautiful and for Saturday, they predicted heavy rains and flash flood warnings were issued. The weather forecast for Sunday and beyond was sunny and beautiful, sunny and beautiful, sunny and beautiful and… you get the picture.

We were all prepared with our rain gear and ready to get out there. I even bought a brandy new Sun Mountain double tiered umbrella. I wore some older Greenjoy shoes so as not to sully my spiffy new Adidas or Callaways and packed an extra set of dry clothes and plenty of towels and gloves. I was ready to play (and win!).

When we got there, we were told the tournament was officially rained out but we were welcome to keep our teetimes and pay for the round. Our fees for the tournament would be carried over to next month’s tournament or the rescheduled rain-out. Naturally, we went out and played anyway. While we were preparing for the first tee and all through the first hole, it was pouring rain and starting out sloppy. After we all holed out, one member of our foursome called it quits (wuss) and three of us carried on. On hole 2, it stopped raining. By the fourth hole, the sun came out and the jackets came off. It poured again for about one minute just as we finished the 9th hole and we missed it completely at the turn. Then the rain was completely gone and the course dried out. There wasn’t any wind, which is unusual at this course. It’s unusual in this town in general, come to that. Anyway, it was a fine round and I shot a 94. My handicap calculator says my target for this course was 96, so I played to two under my index of 16 with a 14 differential.

The goose didn’t make the round with me. What with the predicted (and actual) rain, I didn’t want to risk damaging her on only her second time out. Plus, she’s so enormous, I thought she might get caught up in my snazzy snap-shut rain hood. So I still don’t know how she will impact my play and focus during competition. I guess I’ll find out next month at Elkins Ranch.

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